Neurodivergent

and mental health

Neurodivergence is a wide umbrella and not everyone who is neurodivergent needs support with their mental health. It is not something that needs to be ‘fixed’ but understood.

There are some common challenges that neurodivergent individuals may face, including: societal stigma, anxiety, lack of belonging, trying to meet impossible standards. These can have a knock on effect for mental health, self-esteem and a sense of ‘who I am’.

I have knowledge and experience with:

Autism Dyspraxia

ADHD Dyscalculia

Dyslexia Sensory Processing Disorder

Learning Disabilities

Newly diagnosed
Can't cope in school
Resources

Newly Diagnosed?

Whether it’s your own diagnosis (including self diagnosed) or your child/ young person’s, counselling and psychotherapy can help to understand ourselves better through a neuro-affirming approach.

  • Who am I?

  • What does this mean?

  • I am late diagnosed and looking back on years of being misunderstood? Feeling grief at not knowing or so long? Anger at it being missed?

  • Do I want this label?

  • Have I been masking? Was my child masking?

  • Is this burnout or depression?

  • Now I’m on my ADHD meds, I’m starting to notice other aspects which aren’t ADHD, am I AuDHD?

  • I’m recently diagnosed but there is a much bigger crisis happening

Talking through your neurodivergence or just being in a non-judgemental space to be yourself can help. Everyone has their own journey, whether it’s finally feeling validated in your struggles, resistant as you want to fit in at school or unsure as you’re used to hiding your real self.

This can be a space to figure out what your needs are, process thoughts and feelings, and accept yourself. Often we might have been masking our needs, feeling like we’re too much, but working through our sensory needs are essential to our regulation and wellbeing. There might be other supports we can put in place at school or work, and at home to help with executive functioning.

Finding others that have been through the same process can also feel validating and learning about communities, Autistic culture or finding your own tribe.

You may also want to come to therapy to talk about something completely different to your diagnoses, which is absolutely fine, choosing a neurodivergent therapist doesn’t mean we only discuss neurodiversity! We all have our hectic, sometimes chaotic lives and that might mean needing therapeutic support.

Can’t cope in school

School refusal

Emotionally Based School Non Attendance

You may have tried carrying your child into school? Or they’re too big now and you risk getting hit by your child if you try?

School say they’re fine once their in school, you disagree but they’re not listening?

After school you see the usual meltdowns, explosions or shutdowns?

Night-time they can’t sleep as they’re too anxious about school the next day? Or Sunday the anxiety comes back after a brief respite from school?

Feeling parental guilt deciding whether to continue keeping them in school, home educate or battle the council for alternate provision/ EOTAS (Education Otherwise Than At School)? And whichever you choose, you may still question if you made the right choice?

Watching their world shrink, their mental health decline and not sure what to do except be put on waitlist after waitlist?

And feel like you’re walking on eggshells around your child?

I’ve been there

Research shows that parents are under a great deal of stress and their own mental health is at risk at the same time as the child’s during these struggles with school.

It might be that you’re looking for:

  • Therapy yourself

  • Reflective parenting sessions to discuss the ways you may adapt parenting your child through this challenge

  • Therapy for your child or young person

Barriers for education suggest a WARMTH framework which involves:

Wellbeing first

Affirming practice

Relational approach

Mutual understanding and partnership

Timely response

Holistic support

This aligns with the way I work.

How can I help your child or teenager?

Firstly, they need to feel safe, this is a massive part of the work and will look differently for each child. From my experience, school trauma can destroy an internal sense of feeling safe, therefore the whole world may feel unsafe. This might mean we end up playing games/ talking about their interests/ sitting in my cozy nest playing with fidgets.

When they are able, then we can look into psychoeducation to understand reactions to prolonged stressors; maybe they ran away from class, hit peers or suppressed their feelings until at home. Understanding why they are struggling with school or autistic burnout can help to feel more in control, rather than overwhelm.

Building a therapeutic relationship with someone outside of the family can be the first step of healing and the first step to letting the world back in, however that may look like for the child.

Resources

(Here are just a few of the many resources out there, these are all neurodivergent themselves or neuro-affirming)

Free resources online:

Books for autistic children and teens:

  • Being Autistic (and what that actually means) by Niamh Garvey, what is autism, autistic traits and common co-occurring diagnoses

  • Strange sayings and confusing conversations by Debby Elley, short stories for autistic kids about the weird things people say

  • Square me, Round World by Chelsea Luker, short chapters about feeling different, being burned out, a loud world and finding belonging

  • Young, Autistic & Burnt Out by Jodie Clarke focusing on autistic burnout

Books for ADHD children:

  • ADHD Rapped Up by Mr G (Jamie Gilbert)

  • My Brain is a Race Car by Nell Harris, a younger explanation of using cars as an analogy

  • Ady and Me by Rich & Rox Pink, a story about a girl and Ady (her name for ADHD) and her life

Other books:

  • When My Brain Is Messy by Tania Wieclaw, about a young dinosaur with sensory processing differences

Books for parents of neurodivergent children:

  • A Boy made of Blocks by Keith Stuart a novel about a Dad connecting with his autistic son via his special interest of Minecraft

  • Your Child’s Point of View: Understanding the Reasons Kids Do Unreasonable Things by Kelsie Olds including all stages of childhood and teen years of an adult’s point of view compared to a child’s, written from a neuro-affirming stance

  • Reasonable Adjustments for Autistic Children by Luke Beardon as parents we often end up needing to advocate for our children so this book covers school, society, identification etc.

  • The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker a light read with many of her illustrations of genuine life of a family with PDA.

  • PDA in the family by Steph Curtis involves all aspects such as early years, school, anxiety and mental health, relationships and uniquely a chapter from the father’s perspective.

  • The Secret Life of Rose: Inside an autistic head by Rose Smitten, this has the perspective of the autistic daughter and mother

  • Supporting Children and Young People Through Autistic Burnout by Viv Dawes, this is a workbook with so much information about autistic burnout

Books for autistic or ADHD adults:

  • Could Try Harder by Eliza Fricker, this is an illustrated journey through an undiagnosed autistic adolescent

  • Girl Unmasked: how uncovering my autism saved my life by Emily Katy

  • Unmasking autism: the power of embracing our hidden neurodiversity by Devon Price

  • The Electricity of Every Living Thing: One Woman’s Walk with Asperger’s by Katherine May

  • Explaining AuDHD: a guide to autism and ADHD by Dr Khurram Sadiq

  • ADHD 2.0: new science and essential strategies for thriving with distraction from childhood through adulthood by Edward Hallowell